


Baby - Born Without Bones

by zeitgeist77



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Based on a song, Idiots in Love, M/M, Reddie, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Sad with a Happy Ending, they're in a band
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:20:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21755146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeitgeist77/pseuds/zeitgeist77
Summary: + go listen to the song +Richie Tozier is in a band and his ex-boyfriend, Eddie Kaspbrak is in the crowd.Basically, I listened to this song a million times and thought 'mm reddie'Mature bc language
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 9
Kudos: 109





	Baby - Born Without Bones

Trashmouth, the famous garage band that made it out of Derry, Maine was going to be playing at a massive bar in New York. As Eddie looked at the flier on his computer, he felt sick to his stomach. Fucking Trashmouth couldn't stay out of his city. Richie couldn't just stay in LA, no he had to come back to the East coast.

"Eddie." a voice said and snapped the young man out of his thoughts. Looking up, he saw Mike standing there, holding their two coffees that Eddie had forgotten all about. "We could go, you know." Mike offered, setting the cup next to Eddie and sitting across from him. They had come to the coffee shop to get Eddie out of the office, but he really wished he would've stayed in his cubicle. At least then he wouldn't have strayed from his excel sheet to see what his famous ex-boyfriend was doing. He'd heard a couple of their songs and he had decided that several of them were definitely about him.

He hated looking at the lyrics and seeing that Richie really did love him, he wanted to be angry. He wanted Richie to slander him so that he could go apeshit, but all of the songs were written out of love, which was a perfect reflection of their relationship. They'd known each other so long and they'd been denying the tension that drew them together. The dam broke in sophomore year of high school when they were drunk. Eddie still remembered how nice the memory was: he felt so warm and safe while they cuddled up together and watched Richie's turtle eat a tomato. Bev took a video of them which made him laugh because they weren't cuddled up, they were slumped over on one another like two deflated balloons trying to keep the other up.

"Hey," Mike said, which broke Eddie out of his thoughts a second time.

"Why would we?" Eddie snapped back.

"Well, I could see Stan." Mike and Stan were just as bad as Richie and Eddie when it came to getting together. Eddie and Richie were magnetically pulled together, but Stan and Mike had a connection that was more suited to them. Instead of being drawn together by some weird force, they came together on their own and strolled quaintly into a relationship. However, it took them five years to say that they were dating while it took Richie all of five seconds to blurt out to anyone that would listen that he and Eddie were dating. "And, we could see Bev." He added. Eddie thought for a moment. He didn't have to talk to Richie if he didn't want to. Mike would never push him to do that. Even if he would have to look at the man that used to pull him close late at night when he had a nightmare from across a crowd, he would like to be there to support his friends. And, technically, he and Richie had agreed to be friends.

"Fine," he said.

The bar was stuffed and the tickets were sold out when they got there. "Well, we did give it the good ol' college try," Eddie said, then cringed because he'd gotten that from Richie.

"Yeah, I figured they would sell out. I also figured you would say that. Buuuuutttt..." Mike said then pointed to Bill who was peaking out around the corner and motioning for them to follow. Eddie groaned to himself, then followed the blonde string bean that was beckoning him. They walked in through a white door at the back. Outside, there was still a trace of daylight, but inside was pitch black. Eddie could hear the hundreds of people on the other side of the wall and he felt nervous for his friends. He couldn't imagine performing in front of this many people. Then again, Richie and Bev were never timid. Stan, though he seemed the shy type, was actually fond of being a centerpiece as well.

As soon as they got backstage, Mike and Stan were walking off together, leaving Eddie alone. "I'll take you to your seat," Bev said when she saw Eddie's forehead wrinkle at the happy couple. They walked out of the side door and towards the bar. She walked him up some stairs and showed him his and Mike's seats which were in a dark balcony. "Here you go baby," she said and kissed his cheek.

"Does he know?" Eddie asked.

Bev looked back at him and sucked in a breath. He could tell that the question had made her nervous. "No," she said slowly, "but, you'll see why," she added. Eddie's forehead crinkled again as he questioned what she meant, but she was gone before he could ask any other questions.

Mike showed up about ten minutes later with two drinks in his hand. "Dude, you need to stop bringing me drinks. I have to pay for one, at least." Eddie said.

"Get your panties out of a twist," Mike said which made Eddie go red. "You can buy me something later." Mike winked.

Eddie sat in his seat and drank the liquor Mike had supplied. As he sat there, he felt sick. He hadn't seen Richie in months. The last time they were in a room together, it was New Years, and they didn't even look at each other. Actually, Eddie had looked at Richie all night. He wanted so badly for them to lock eyes and just agree that it was all stupid. But, that wasn't what happened. Instead of going home together and making up, Eddie had gone home alone and drank a bottle of wine while listening to their old playlist. The next day, he had returned to normal, but that night he had mourned a part of his life that he thought was permanent. God, it was such a stupid fight. Every time Eddie thought about it, he got mad. There had been no real fight, instead, it was just a Civil War. One day, Richie had just stopped talking to him. Then, when Eddie told him not to change the thermostat, it had become a screaming match about how Richie couldn't do anything right. Eddie disagreed and tried to fight him on it, but Richie wouldn't let up. It had happened so fast, and when it was over, Eddie had moved to New York and Richie had moved to LA. It was a good distance, it was necessary.

Drums started to roll and Eddie looked over the edge of the balcony. Beverly was on drums. She always dressed the part of a punk rocker with fishnets and ripped jeans and spikes coming out of everything. Stanley stayed true to himself but fit into the aesthetic by wearing cuffed black jeans and a black tank top under a large coat. Richie and Bill strayed from the path a little bit. Richie was wearing an obnoxious bowling shirt, but he and Bev had matching jeans on. Bill looked similar, but he had on a beanie. Dumbass might get a heat stroke from it, but he thought it was cool.

Eddie looked at Richie to see how he had changed. The lanky hyper boy he'd loved carried himself differently now. He was quiet at first, focussing on his equipment and making sure that he was in the light, but he had much less life in his walk. Eddie remembered how he would dance around in the garage when they played, now he was moving as if someone was dragging him by a string. When he looked up towards the lighting people, his cheeks seemed more hollow than Eddie had remembered. "Hello hello, everyone!" he said. It was much less boisterous than the old days. The crowd screamed back at him and he smiled. Eddie missed that smile. It wasn't the smile he would give his mom in pictures, it was his real smile. It was the one that meant 'hello and thank you for making me feel good'. Eddie had always called it his 'puppy' smile. It was the one that would melt your heart and let Richie have whatever he wanted. Maggie and Eddie had talked about it once and they agreed that they were putty in his hand when he did it. The best part was that he never knew that that was their weakness. He just did it out of pure admiration. Eddie was going to be sick. "Tonight I want to start out with a new song. We've been working on it for a couple of days and Bev says it's the best one we have. From Ms.Marsh to you, here is 'Baby'." Richie said. He looked back at the others and they all nodded to one another, counting off. 

_"You're killing me..._ " Richie started singing and began to strum at his guitar. " _So finish me off or spare me. Oh, where are you now?_ " Eddie watched as he sang. He was strained. He had his eyes closed and his hands trembled on the frets. " _Is Wayne drinking one of those bottles of wine? Everyone brought one, but now he has the time to...relax and unwind._ " A couple of times, Richie had gone to Eddie's family affairs. They were always under the guise that Richie was practically family because they had known each other for so long. They never told Eddie's family about their relationship. Eddie's extended family was hard to handle, but Richie made it bearable. His great uncle Wayne always drank too much and started ranting about how the world was ruined by the internet. Sonia always told him to go slow and relax, but he said getting drunk was relaxing. 

" _I miss fucking you on your living room floor / every Sunday night. And I miss the smell of your log cabin / your cute little hands grabbing for mine."_ Of course, he had to get explicit. Fucking Trashmouth. His mom went to church on Sunday nights. She'd be there for so long, it was hard not to take advantage of the opportunity. Once a year, near Christmas, Eddie would visit his dad's cabin. Sonia refused to go so he brought the Losers. He and Richie would cozy up in front of the fire and watch the snow blanket on the deck. Eddie would always put their hands up against one another and Richie's fingers would engulf his own. Eddie felt a tear roll down his cheek and his bottom lip quivered. He didn't want to remember loving Richie. He just wanted to hate him. Eddie wanted to let the memories go bad and he wanted to hate Richie with all his heart. 

" _I wonder what they’re clasped around now /_ _I know someday’s a lie but is somehow? /_ _How can I survive without you now?"_ Richie looked so sick. Eddie felt tears pour out of his eyes. He wanted to know what was making Richie so sick. He wanted to grab the man who looked like an inflatable tube guy at a car wash and hold him so dearly that all of his hurt went away. 

" _In a bed that sinks in the middle, you might be little, but I'm big. We both don't fit. And you used to put up with it. I miss waking up covered in lint / and your lips pout and hint that you want mine."_ Eddie was crying, but he realized that he wasn't angry. He'd avoided all of their music because he knew that if he had a glimpse into why Richie had been the way he had been, he would forgive him. He wanted to be angry, he wanted to be apathetic and live a country apart, he did not want to forgive Richie. He had neglected one very important fact: he loved Richard Tozier with his whole heart. He could never hate Richie, not really. 

" _But I don't miss not hearing my name / and always wanting more and getting the same / the same old same old has got me down / you've got me now."_

" _Baby, I tried and tried /_ _I lived and died and I sacrificed /_ _But I don’t want to be anything /_ _If anything means that I’m something without you"_ Richie had a strain in his voice that struck Eddie. It was this deep longing sound like a prisoner who had just learned to cry for help. The analogy made Eddie shiver and wonder if maybe he had done something. For so long, he'd accepted that Richie just wanted out. But, he must have missed something. 

" _How can I describe my meaningless life? / Without your beautiful light guiding me home every night?"_ Eddie was angry at that. He wanted to scream at Richie. He wanted to grab his face and tell him that his life was so meaningful. He wanted to make Richie see what the world saw. Eddie looked at Mike who was already looking at Eddie. They shared a simple conversation just by looking at one another. 

Eddie sat in the dressing room for the rest of the show. He could hear the songs and the crowd and Richie livening up. He felt a pounding in his heart that wasn't from the bass but was from an old feeling that he couldn't escape. He didn't know what he wanted to say, he just knew that he wanted to say something. He knew he needed to say something. He heard the end of the show and the loud pleads for an encore. Then, after two final songs, he heard the sound of footfalls in the hallway. His heart was in his throat and he thought he was about to vomit. He heard Richie's voice which made it worse, but also made his heart flutter. When the door opened, he felt like a deer in the headlights. Richie looked like he shared the sentiment. They both stood paralyzed in a dressing room with shitty lighting and five other people. Stan and Mike were gone, as always, but the people who were there looked like they were looking forward to leaving. 

Richie looked at Beverly and Bill who were backing out. "Eds?" he said to Eddie. He looked around at the crew in the room and took a deep breath. "Can you guys give us a minute?" he asked. Everyone evacuated. Eddie felt like it would make things easier, but when the two of them were left over, he wished he would've been excused as well. Richie walked over to one of the tables and grabbed a cigarette. He started to light it, then Eddie cocked his head and he threw it back on the table. "Old habits die hard," he said plainly. "Did you see the show?" He asked. 

"Do you really think your life is meaningless?" Eddie blurted out. Richie puffed up his cheeks and slowly let the air out. That was his remedy to smoking. When he had stopped smoking years ago, that was what he did instead. 

"That's what you got out of that song? You don't want to be mad about me talking about fucking? Or how about me talking about your alcoholic great uncle?" Richie countered. 

"Yeah because I don't give a fuck about the other things. Sex is natural and he's dead now. Richie, why do you think that? Did you feel that way when we were together?" Eddie asked. 

Richie got defensive, "Does it matter? Do you really care?" 

"Do I care? Do I fucking care? Richie, you've been my best friend since I could fucking walk. You're one of my first memories, we dated for a decade. Richie, I fucking care." Eddie scorned him. Richie laughed and scratched his head. "What's so funny, trashmouth?" Eddie said pointedly. He got closer to Richie, invading his space. 

"Just that you care." Richie laughed. "Maybe you lost my number when you moved. But, if you really do care, you have a really funny way of showing it." 

"Excuse me, I wasn't the one who changed the locks." Eddie shot back. "You shut the door, not me." 

"You didn't exactly put up a fight." 

"Because all of our fights were about nothing. We argued about the same meaningless shit all the time."

"I couldn't do anything right! I never did the right thing according to you!" Richie yelled. 

"You said that. I never said that!" Eddie yelled back. Richie went quiet. He pushed his lips together so he wouldn't speak. Eddie looked away for a second. "I know when we were younger that you were very diligent about what everyone knew about you. And I know that you think there are parts of you that are bad." Eddie was trying to ease into it, but he knew that would get him nowhere. "Rich, I know you thought we would all forget you. I know that you were so afraid of it happening that you would push them all away instead of having to watch them leave you. I know that I never let you do it to me, and I am so sorry that I finally let you do it." Eddie's lip started to quiver again. Richie was looking at the ground. "Rich, I-" Eddie's voice cracked. 

Richie looked up and saw that he was crying. "No, no, no," Richie said frantically and reached for him, pulling him in and holding him as tight as he could. It was his natural reflex to do so, he couldn't resist. Eddie started to cry more because he realized how much he had missed Richie. And, Richie felt the same. "It wasn't ever really your fault," he admitted and he pulled back from Eddie. He kept one arm around Eddie's waist and wiped away his tears with the other. "It was the promotions and the fucking rent and how nothing was lining up for me, but you were doing so well. And I wanted to propose so bad because I woke up next to you every day and you made me feel so good and then I couldn't afford a fucking ring. And then I just thought that nothing I did was good enough-" Eddie cut him off, kissing him deeply. Neither one of them could think of anything. Both of their minds went blank. Richie felt the screaming chaos he'd created in his own head go quiet. And Eddie's quiet nothing was sparked to life creating a feeling he hadn't had in a while: happiness. When they pulled away, they stayed there with their arms around one another and felt relief. "Eds, would you like to get dinner?" 

"Can we get a drink first?" Eddie asked which made Richie laugh. "I'm not joking. I fucking cried out all my water." He laughed which made Richie laugh harder. 

"Of course," Richie said gently and moved a tuft of curling hair out of Eddie's eyes. 

"Wait, you were going to propose," Eddie said, shocked because that had just processed in his mind. His mouth was agape and Richie sucked in a breath. 

"Uh, yeah. Um, I was going to..." he stuttered. 

"Rich, I would've said yes if you got me a RingPop," Eddie said, but he didn't say it to ease Richie's mind. What he meant was that shiny rocks don't build a relationship, love does. "Dumbass." Eddie added. 

"You wanna go get some RingPops?" Richie asked nonchalantly. Eddie nodded quickly and Richie smiled. That stupid fucking smile.


End file.
